Here’s a great article by none other than David DeAngelo on using humor to attract women. I like David’s work. It’s simple and straight to the point. Only thing is, he’s such a good marketer it’s hard to tell how much he has actually written himself? I mean, I’m positive he wrote “Double Your Dating” but you can’t tell me he writes a new newsletter every other day for his readers!? Anyhow, like I said. I like his stuff (and hey, I hope one day I can build a $20 million a year biz out of one ebook!!). Here it is :
One of the things that I discuss a lot is the idea of why women feel ATTRACTION for some men
while NOT feeling it for others (even though the men that women feel ATTRACTION for might not be
good choices for them because they’re abusive, etc.)
If you recall, one of the concepts that I teach goes something like this:
* ATTRACTION isn’t something that is logically chosen.
* ATTRACTION is basically an EMOTIONAL RESPONSE to certain cues and behaviors.
One of the things I’ve isolated that seems to cause women to feel this magical ATTRACTION to men
is the idea that I call being “Cocky & Funny”.
This is simply using an arrogant style of humor when you’re dealing with attractive women that
leads to them feeling the emotion of ATTRACTION for you.
At the seminars I teach, I realized that several of the guys were having trouble getting
the idea that a woman could feel an emotion like ATTRACTION in response to something as seemingly
unrelated as making arrogant jokes (especially about her) and making her laugh.
I mean, how COULD this possibly work?
I thought I’d take this newsletter and talk a bit about why I think that something so illogical
could help you to create ATTRACTION, and some specifics about how to do it.
FIRST THE “WHY”…
Remember, women feel ATTRACTION for a very different set of reasons than men do.
Where men focus more on LOOKS, women focus more on PERSONALITY, SELF ESTEEM, POWER, and several other more “intangible” qualities.
Women also love men who can make them laugh.
And by watching a lot of guys who are VERY good at attracting women, I’ve noticed a common
pattern.
Most of these guys use a common way of communicating with women that communicates the
above qualities WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO SAY THAT THEY HAVE THEM.
I call this way of communicating “Cocky & Funny”, and it’s one of the cornerstones of
attracting women.
I believe that when a man is Cocky & Funny, he triggers a primal response inside of a woman that
creates an instant emotional ATTRACTION.
This is because women come “pre-wired” with an internal template of what comprises a desirable
mate, and a set of emotional trigger buttons that, when pushed, create that powerful emotional
response called ATTRACTION that compels her to mate with the man who triggers it.
Most men have no idea that this mechanism exists or how to trigger it, so they do
traditional “nice guy” things like buying dinners, gifts, and flowers… and giving women
compliments… and calling them all the time (which usually have the OPPOSITE of the desired
effect when used too much, and too early on).
As I got to know more and more guys who were REALLY GOOD with women, I started to see that they
weren’t afraid to make fun of attractive women, bust on them, and even challenge them… but it
was always done in a VERY FUNNY, even charming way.
At first I just assumed that it was the fact that this pattern was just a technique that my
friends were using to make conversation.
Only after really paying attention, trying out this technique myself quite a bit, and LOOKING
CLOSELY AT THE ACTUAL RESPONSES I WAS GETTING did I begin to realize the UNBELIEVABLY POWERFUL EMOTIONAL RESPONSES that this one concept was generating.
And after working on it, testing it, refining it, and studying the finer points about women,
men, and the whole “mating process” did I begin to really understand how well this worked.
The concept is pretty simple:
1. Take an arrogant comment.
2. Add humor to make it funny.
3. Feel free to use this combination when poking fun at the woman you’re dealing with.
Here’s a simple example:
Let’s say you’re walking down the street with a woman and she says, “Wow, I really like those
shoes in the window” and you answer, “You would”.
Here’s another one:
Let’s say you’re talking to a woman who’s wearing a pair of shoes with four inch heels, and
you say, “So what, are you about four feet tall without the shoes?”
Get it?
You’re saying things that are FUNNY while at the same time A BIT ARROGANT.
An added bonus that these two examples demonstrate is that neither one is quite clear.
It’s obvious that you’re making fun of her, but it’s not exactly clear what you mean.
When you communicate like this, you communicate:
1. That you’re confident.
2. That you’re comfortable.
3. That you’re intelligent.
4. That you’re funny.
…which, of course, are all qualities that lead to a woman feeling ATTRACTION.
Of course, most men wouldn’t even THINK about saying things like this to a woman that they find
attractive because they fear REJECTION.
Most men would also say that I must be CRAZY for thinking that these kinds of comments would
trigger an EMOTIONAL response of ATTRACTION inside of a woman.
I can understand this because when I first saw guys being Cocky & Funny with women, I PERSONALLY
couldn’t believe that it was what was creating the ATTRACTION.
But the fact is that IT DOES CREATE ATTRACTION.
And as illogical as it seems, if you learn how to cultivate the skill of being Cocky & Funny,
you’ll notice an AMAZING difference in the way that women respond to you.
You’ll find that the more you refine and perfect the technique, the more women will want to
talk to you, be around you, and feel the uncontrollable urges associated with ATTRACTION.
So here’s the formula again: When you’re in a situation with a woman, say things that are both
Cocky & Funny.
Let’s say you’re talking to a woman, and she says, “Here, let me buy this round of drinks”.
You might respond by saying, “Look, don’t think that just because you buy me a drink that I’m
going to go home with you. I’m not that easy….”
Or maybe she mentions that she just started working as a waitress… and you say, “Well,
that’s a deal breaker for me, because I need a woman who makes enough to support the both of us
so I can pursue my life-long goal of being a house husband.”
Are you with me?
These are all FUNNY and at the same time ARROGANT.
One of the exercises that I recommend is to take some time and come up with a whole bunch of
Cocky & Funny comments that YOU can use in the most common “real world” situations you find
yourself meeting women in… and then mentally rehearse them so you have them ready in your mind
to use.
When you use this magical way of communicating with women, you’ll find that it often sparks an
INSTANT sexual tension, and sets up a perfect interaction between you and the woman you’re
talking to.
It creates a wonderful, entertaining CHALLENGE that women just LOVE to engage in…
It not only sets you apart from other men, but as I mentioned, it also triggers that wonderful
emotion called ATTRACTION at the same time.
